Him.

Written By @3130beloved

I will wait for him.

[[ Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalm 5:10 ]] 

I will wait for him who is already praying for me. I will wait for him whom the Lord is equipping to wash me with the word daily. I will wait for him who will be 100% sure.

I will wait for him to awaken and be awakened by the spirit. 

I will wait for him who says, "How God must adore her. She is worth it for me to pursue and learn more about.”

I will wait for him who only God has equipped to open my heart.

I will wait for him who obeys the Lord out of reverence and affection for Him.

I will wait for him who is on his knees day-in and day-out begging the Lord to guide him...to guide us.

I will wait for him who looks + speaks + embraces me a fraction of how Christ does.

I will wait for him who’s DNA is foreign to me and looks nothing like my ex’s.

I will wait for him who declares TRUTHS over me.  Truths that the Lord informs him of.

I will wait for him who lights up inside and out at the site of Christ living within me.

I will wait for him who seeks to know the Lord and to love His people for the rest of his days.

I will wait for him who embraces my flaws and only returns my wretchedness with kindness.

I will wait for him who is passionately committed to my well-being in selflessness and humility.

I will wait for him who recognizes my spirit within.

I will wait for him who needs his wife to be the woman of God I am striving to become.

I will wait for him who receives love the way that I naturally give.

I will wait for him who is rich in spirit. He who always points to heaven. 

I will wait for the Lord to give him the key to my heart. To give him the O.K. to plow into my life like a WRECKING BALL. 

I will wait for the one who's love for the Lord will leave me in awe of God's character.

I will wait for him who does NOT look to me to complete him, instead knows that in Christ we are completed. 

I will wait for him who pushes me away from seeking rest in man, but instead only running to our firm foundation for replenishing and reviving.

I am bone of your bone.

I am flesh of your flesh.

I am made up of your rib. 

I will recognize you because God's word will be tatted all over your heart. 

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. ”
— Ephesians 5: 25-30
“I will recognize you because the way you speak will remind me of Soloman’s wisdom. Your ability to lead will remind me of Moses. Your faith will remind me of Abraham. Your confidence in God’s words will remind me of Daniel. Your inspiration will remind me of Paul. Your heart for God will remind me of David. Your attention to detail will remind me of Noah. Your integrity will remind me of Joseph. Your ability to abandon your own will will remind me of the disciples. Your ability to love me selfishly and unconditionally will remind me of Christ. ”
— @Iamgenetics

God is a God who gives, but also takes away. If he took my mother, the love of my earthly life, I will WAIT for my next love of my earthly life. Jesus is already my greatest love story ever told so I will wait. I commit to surrendering the unsure + the distrust + the wishy washy + the doubt + the confusion to you, Jesus. You can have it all, Lord. Take this life and breathe on this life that is now yours.

“The Lord kills and brings to life; he brings down to Sheol and raises up. The Lord makes poor and makes rich; he brings low and he exalts.”
— 1 Samuel 2:6-7
@3130beloved

I’ve always hated these, “Bio” or “About me” sections— so awkward.

But… after living 25 years lost in my agnostic world chasing my own fame, glory, comfort and will I was brought to my end. After the death of my mom, ending the most manipulative & emotionally abusive relationship, a lifestyle of drug addiction, 2 abortions, and finding myself empty while standing in the middle of what the world says is “bliss”… I reached the end of myself and the beginning of seeing Jesus’ light beaming down on me.

I met His Holy Spirit for the first time at a Halloween rave called, “Day of the Dead.” To this day, I still think this is one of the darkest places to be on our planet. I raved and popped pills to numb my pain, to avoid my fears and to suppress my sadness. I was in the middle of bobbing my head and raising my arms to the electro house music blasting in my ears when images of skeletons came on the TV monitors and the weak spirit within me has a knee-jerk reaction to put my arms down. “Whoa! I don’t worship that!”, I thought. “Wait, what do I know about worship?” Now looking back, there God was! The beginning of my site for Him.

A year later, I followed my brother (his good looking friend) to church (@realityLA). I don’t remember the sermon but I heard God for the first time when worship began singing, “Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me.”

I LOST my mind.

It was an overwhelming & LAVISHINGGG upon me of, "Hi precious girl. I see you. I know you. I’ve been here. I know your pain. I know your loss. I know you are lost. I know you’re angry, specifically with me because you lost your mom and you think your life is unredeemable but my beloved, I’ve been coming after you because you are mine.” I cried the hardest I’d ever cried in my life because my entire being just knew… This. Is. God. This. Is. The. Master. Of. The. Universe— and He wants me? Broken, selfish, ugly me?

I soon followed this good looking friend of my brothers to a community group. There is where I met the love of God through His people as they accepted me, fed me, welcomed me, and took me in as family despite my lifestyle that rebelled against everything they believed. One year later, I said, “Fine. I’ll follow until you fail just like everything else has.” Well… He hasn’t failed nor broken any promise yet. ;) My choice to accept Jesus as my Lord, savior and new identity has brought me more freedom than I could have ever fathomed. I didn’t know what I was living for or aiming at but God truly lit up every shadow, broke down every wall, shattered every lie and came after me.

Salvation belongs to the Lord.

As the world kicks and screams trying to shout their way to justice, peace and unity on their own terms right now, may the roots of our identity in Christ grow deeper each day together as one body; as one family.

“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers;

but his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither.
In all that he does, he prospers.

The wicked are not so,
but are like chaff that the wind drives away.

Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous;
for the Lord knows the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked will perish.”

https://3130beloved.com
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